Boring Books

It is not very often that I find Greg Sheridan's column in The Australian edifying, but I felt more than a little self-satisfied when I read this incidental jibe within his piece about the Salman Rushdie-Knighthood controversy:

"Either Rushdie has the right to pen his boring books even when they are offensive, or he does not".

Wow, the Emperor really does have no clothes.

To be fair, I have not actually read The Satanic Verses. I have, however, endured 50-odd pages of the soporific sludge that is Midnight's Children. It started me thinking about all the other tedious tripe I have encountered in my adult life.

My top five boring books of all time are:

1. Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children.


2. V.S. Naipaul's A House for Mr Biswas.


3. George Eliot's The Mill on the Floss.


4. Tim Winton's Dirt Music.


5. Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre.

Like Midnight's Children, all of these books were required reading for university units. I am probably going to cop flak from some feminist with hairy armpits for including Charlotte Bronte on the list and perhaps I do have some cultural prejudices. On the other hand, I am too old to be ashamed of being male, middle-class and white.

I tag all the people who read this blog (and anyone who leaves a comment) to make their own list. You know who you are.

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

I went to an auction the other day and I swear that the auctioner was the spitting image of this guy:

Who was in this sketch:


I love the Spanish Inquistion sketch. Most Monty Python is boring, but this sketch never fails to make me laugh.

RE: Goals

Looking at my last post in the cold light of morning (and it is very cold in my neck of the woods, the mercury pushing 1 degree Celsius kind of cold) I can see how conservative (or boring) I am.

Consequently, here are a five more "radical" goals:

1. Get a role in a play.
2. Give 5% of my weekly income to charity.
3. Climb a mountain.
4. Buy a leather jacket.
5. Volunteer for an overseas aid mission.

See, I'm cool too aren't I?

James, this list took me a month to do because I've been thinking about it so much.

My five "life goals" in no specific order:

1. To know Jesus.
2. To learn how to love others and have good relationships.
3. To be a good teacher.
4. To have a family, kids, house, etcetera, etcetera.
5. To be a good writer.

Hopefully it won't take me another month to think of what I am going to blog next.