Between writing a tedious lesson plan and nursing my addiction to The Biggest Loser I have found some time to blog. Marvel in the wake of fantasticity! (cue sarcasm) Prepare to be awestruck by my wisdom!
Seriously though, I wish I was more like D’Jen and blog a few hundred quality words day in day out. That girl is a machine. I know that she has said that she doesn’t think much of her own writing but I can not think of any other blogger who could match her for consistency, quality and quantity. I, sadly, have a pause button on my brain that makes me think twice (and sometimes three or four times) before I blog anything. Usually, by the time I have thought my initial idea through my life has moved on and there is something else I should blog about or there is something in the real world that needs my attention.
One of the things that my pause button works overtime on is relationships in general and relationships with the opposite sex in particular. But after reading a post from this blog I felt, as a guy, I should leave my two cents somewhere in cyberspace. For what my opinion is worth, I would not be ashamed if some bearded IT guy started hitting on me and I was interested in knowing his contact details. (Given that I am a heterosexual bloke that hasn’t happened too often. Although, there have been a couple of “dudes” I have met in tutorials and lecture theatres who have gotten a little too “friendly” for my comfort level.*) Everyone has feelings. Everyone has had a crush on some body and been disappointed. Truth be known, some days you are the wind screen and some days you are the fly.
Perhaps this stuff happen because we are all to a greater or lesser extent hung up about sex. We get that initial sexual zing when we meet someone new and we want to ride that wave for as long as we can. Unfortunately, we over indulge ourselves and any chance we have to develop a relationship gets crowded out by desire and its flipside, anxiety. Finally, we retreat to the old relationships that, on the one hand, serve us so well but also keep us tied our past. If we were just a little more patient we might find a lot more than we expected.
That is my two cents. I invite any and every other person on the face of the planet who has been spurned by a crush to leave their two cents on the comments page as well. By the time we are done we should have enough money to feed Africa, cure cancer and buy out the coal industry .
*Disclaimer: I am not trying to purvey any form of homophobia. Everyone deserves respect, dignity and compassion.
Seriously though, I wish I was more like D’Jen and blog a few hundred quality words day in day out. That girl is a machine. I know that she has said that she doesn’t think much of her own writing but I can not think of any other blogger who could match her for consistency, quality and quantity. I, sadly, have a pause button on my brain that makes me think twice (and sometimes three or four times) before I blog anything. Usually, by the time I have thought my initial idea through my life has moved on and there is something else I should blog about or there is something in the real world that needs my attention.
One of the things that my pause button works overtime on is relationships in general and relationships with the opposite sex in particular. But after reading a post from this blog I felt, as a guy, I should leave my two cents somewhere in cyberspace. For what my opinion is worth, I would not be ashamed if some bearded IT guy started hitting on me and I was interested in knowing his contact details. (Given that I am a heterosexual bloke that hasn’t happened too often. Although, there have been a couple of “dudes” I have met in tutorials and lecture theatres who have gotten a little too “friendly” for my comfort level.*) Everyone has feelings. Everyone has had a crush on some body and been disappointed. Truth be known, some days you are the wind screen and some days you are the fly.
Perhaps this stuff happen because we are all to a greater or lesser extent hung up about sex. We get that initial sexual zing when we meet someone new and we want to ride that wave for as long as we can. Unfortunately, we over indulge ourselves and any chance we have to develop a relationship gets crowded out by desire and its flipside, anxiety. Finally, we retreat to the old relationships that, on the one hand, serve us so well but also keep us tied our past. If we were just a little more patient we might find a lot more than we expected.
That is my two cents. I invite any and every other person on the face of the planet who has been spurned by a crush to leave their two cents on the comments page as well. By the time we are done we should have enough money to feed Africa, cure cancer and buy out the coal industry .
*Disclaimer: I am not trying to purvey any form of homophobia. Everyone deserves respect, dignity and compassion.
5 comments:
Firstly, thanks so much! I do disagree about the quality aspect of my blog, but I will accept the consistent and quantity part:)
I think people think way too much about blogging. I've never blogged for other people, it has always been a place for me to just dump whatever is in my mind at the time, it just turns out some people like to read it. Try going straight from brain to fingers, it's fun!
I think you so hit the head on the nail with all the relationship stuff. No one likes to put themselves out there so it's always easier to play coy and hope things just happen. I shouldn't talk though, I am the first person who would do nothing if I had a crush on someone and would just day dream about the relationship and hope desperatly the other party would notice. I am a loser :)
Yeah, I've got no problems with Jen either. She has quality. Qualities even.
I didn't really understand your 2 cents though. Do you mean that crushes are all about being horny and that puts people on the wrong path? That people should be friends before being boyfriends and girlfriends? I mean 'hung up about sex' can have a lot of meanings is all.
Personally I think it's a matter of experience. If you know how to express how you feel about someone, and you know how read the signs and see if they're into you or not, you'll be able to figure out how it will all end before you even get to start having a crush.
Of course, that's fine in theory...
Ok, so I'm still trying to work out whether I should be embarassed about writing about said crush, or it's pitiful outcome.
But because as we both know I'm all about the artistic integrity I'm going to claim it as a good thing.
I wrote a resolution list, or to be apt my mission statement of 2007. One of the things was to put myself out there more. To stop with the comfortable old holey t-shirt relationships and to try something new.
Hence the bearded IT boy jaunt.
I'm very glad I decided to pursue it, even if it was just a decision to make contact with someone who seemed cool. I'm probably more grateful that I didn't track down his number and ask the nice christian married man out though to be honest.
None the less I think more people should do stuff that makes them uncomfortable.
I mean hell it inspired two posts out of it so at least it's entertaining.
Oh and good god this was a long comment.
(Also ditto on the D'Jen compliment - She is awesome)
D’Jen – I ignore my infatuations and crushes these days. If it is meant to happen it will happen.
Mark – What you said in your comment was more or less what I was trying to say in my post. Experience teaches you patience. You don’t chase every feeling that you have, you get better at figuring out whether you are on to a good thing.
But the idea that really interests me is how desire, wanting something, is not a whole not of fun. You act irrational and often end up embarrassed because of it. It crowds out friendship and caring for someone else more than yourself which is, I believe, what is really rewarding about a relationship.
But I don’t know, perhaps I am too conservative for my own good. What does anyone else think?
Lucy – Hmmm, I really should have used an example from my own life rather than throw you under the bus. Anyway, I am grateful that you blogged about that situation because I have been there as well. I hope that you choose not to feel embarrassed about this because, obviously, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Anyway, it would just be a crappy emotion that would hold you back.
Oh yes, desire is suffering and all that. Very Buddhist (but it's funny how close Buddhist and Christian themes are, isn't it?) I don't know if I'd put it in those terms myself, but I guess the possibility of kissing someone does make it easy to forget that you're supposed to enjoy the conversation as well.
You could probably play it out via Platonic & Aristotelian philosophies - ie. Plato thinks that the highest love is free from desire (at least in the sense of sexual desire) but for Aristotle it would probably be more about balance, and moderating desire rather than eliminating it. I think I'd be more of the side of moderation than elimination, ie. I it would be wrong to think that sexual desire is an obstacle to the best kind of love, but on the other hand, neither is it the case that you can have a good love relationship if sexual desire plays too big a role. Perhaps you're more on the Platonic side - I think a lot of people are, actually.
Oh, btw, I might be wrong about Aristotle, but someone definitely says what I've attributed to him.
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